My Own March Madness.

For a while, I only thought of March Madness for the NCAA Tournament for basketball... However, I finally realized that although I may be cheering for Duke in the tournament, I am also cheering for myself this crazy month.
This month has been horrible for me. I hate it. I hate nearly everything that's been happening this month. SATs, PACO (the whole scenario with Kris and her getting mad at me and FINALLY letting Emily take my place after my parents unexpectedly sent her an email in addition to me talking to Kris), school.... wow. killer month, huh. Sadly, I'm not even going to prom either, but I guess I'm okay with that (although kids like Ameya, Kathy, Tiffany, Derek, Julie, etc. aren't). Wow, and this month, my parents and I have not gotten along so well (hence, they're also the reason why I can't go to prom this year). But whatever, as one of my friends told me, I "don't have to deal with all the stress planning every stupid thing" for prom. Haha, I will have to agree there. Less stress to deal with this stressful month of madness...
I guess the only things I'm actually excited for this month is the LAME, note the caps, orchestra trip to Fremont and Homestead High. Even though I get to skip 5th and 7th period, I'm not missing class because I'm going to bio (my 7th with Tsai) during my free 1st with Frazier (who I did not like as much as Tsai last time I did that) and lit during 3rd period (because Galli said for all us kids like me who can't skip class, we can go during 3rd period, while he gives everyone else who's staying in chamber FOOD before our long trip of the day). I'm going to see some of my Fremont and Homestead buddies, especially ones I haven't seen in quite a while (like Katerina maybe? and Caroline!), so I'm quite excited :) But then, that's about it, other than seeing my friends at school.

The only things (including people) that acually "de-stress" and "de-anxiety" me are my music, violin (at times), sleeping (if at all possible), my hayao miyazaki movies, and my friends at school. If it weren't for any of that, I don't know what I would have done this month. At least I try not to think suicidal thoughts... especially after all those masses of adolescent suicides recently........
Oh, (slightly referring to the last post before this), I guess I have had everything figured out. Which is quite, to be honest, weird to me. Pretty much, I'm starting off fresh from some parts of my life, and I feel both good and bad about it. I could go into detail, but I don't feel like doing that right now, as I'm supposed to be making a timeline to study for my APUSH reading quiz on Bailey 37 tomorrow.

I am slightly dying without Serena here. Just seeing her everyday (or almost everyday) somehow keeps me in-check with everything... Maybe that's because I feel like she understands me so well (not saying that Alice and other people don't...). I hope you have a safe trip back from New York; you will have to make up our stupid propoganda pop-quiz in lit.

Maybe I should write in my journal soon, my real paper-journal and not this online one... Although I only write in that journal when I start to cry, maybe I need that refresher because everytime I write in the journal, I feel as if my prayers are being heard and I, usually, always feel better or can cope with/handle things better afterwards. I guess I just need to keep that in mind so that when I feel like breaking down again in the near future, to write in my journal... But then again, how can I forget? I sleep with the notebook right under my pillow.

I had better go back to my APUSH timeline. Varun's probably going to get angry at me for not finishing, and thus not sending him, the timeline.

Adios, amigos. Tienen un buen día, or at least the hour that's left of it.